


The Green Eyed Monster

by NoseBridgePinch



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, Parody, Romance, Sarcasm, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28972167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoseBridgePinch/pseuds/NoseBridgePinch
Summary: Wendy gets kicked out the the girl's lunch table for being preachy, she decides to sit with Stan and his friends for the remainder of lunch. Hilarity ensues.
Relationships: Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Kudos: 11





	1. A Bitter Appetizer

Today would be different. Grace. Poise. Confidence. Wendy could radiate all three. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." She repeated those words in her head as she entered the cafeteria. She broke away from her friends and walked to her lunch table.

She passed the fourth grade boy's table, watching her boyfriend out of the corner of her eye. He seemed engrossed in something Kenny McCormick was saying. Hmph. Not even an acknowledgement in her direction. Wendy took a seat, turning around to get a good view of Stan. All she could see from this angle was Kenny jump up and frantically wave his arms around.

Wendy was annoyed, mostly with herself. Why should she feel negative about herself when he didn't notice her? She knew what everyone thought of her. She tried to be better. But still she was her own worst critic. "Controlling, jealous, possessive, bitch!" Was a more familiar ring in her ears instead of Eleanor Roosevelt quotes.

Kenny finally sat down again at Stan's table. She wondered what made him jump up like that, what was he saying? Knowing Kenny it was probably something disgusting. No. She wouldn't be judgmental either. She'd clear her conscience of any negative thoughts that could turn wrathful and just focus on how pretty her new lunch box was. Maybe that was bad too, made her shallow. No better than a common magpie.

But her lunch box was cute. It was white, with a smattering of real life nature photos of monarch butterflies across the front with a matching thermos. But what had made her pick it was the tag saying a portion of the proceeds would be donated to an animal conservatory in Washington D.C. Functional, cute, and helped a good cause. What could be wrong with that? If she asked enough people maybe she'd find out.

Wendy tried to push the negative thoughts out of her head as the other girls sat down around her. She frowned slightly at what was on Bebe's lunch tray as her best friend took a seat beside her. It held a small salad with no visible dressing, a banana and a fat free milk.

Bebe cocked her head to the side. "What's wrong, Wendy? Why are you giving me that look?"

"Nothing. Just... No carbohydrates? Meat? Real food?"

"I'm going to lose at least five pounds before I decide to look for a new boyfriend."

Ah yes, Bebe and Clyde's fight, hiatus and seemingly permanent breakup. Bebe kept insisting she was fine and over him. But it seemed she was just putting on a brave face. Wendy picked up on Bebe not wearing anything from the flashy side of her shoe collection. Nothing sparkly, with ribbons and the only bows she saw on her feet were the ties in plain, white tennis shoes. Maybe there was something Bebe loved more than shoes, or maybe most of the flashy shoes had been purchased at her ex's father's store.

Wendy didn't have any nice clothing items to remind her of Stan. Anything fancy worn in the early part of their relationship had been ruined and thrown away. The newer second part of their relationship, well they hadn't gotten very far. Wendy would have to take charge of that and fix it. Soon. She fought the urge to look over at Stan's table again and focus on her friend's problems. A small worry of Bebe's had the potential to magnify itself until Wendy would be wrestling a gun away from her hands. But when any girl was already feeling down on herself about her weight you had to approach the subject delicately. "I think you're perfectly fine the way you are, Bebe."

Bebe looked ready to respond when Heidi Turner cut in. "Let her lose all the weight she wants, she looks a little top heavy anyway."

Bebe cast her nemesis a cool glare. "I think you should watch what you say to me, we have a girl's council meeting after school."

"I'm sorry Bebe. I'm glad your diet lets you have bananas. Maybe you should include other dick shaped foods since you're good at swallowing that kind of stuff."

"Oh you poor jealous bitch." Bebe picked up the banana on her lunch tray and looked at it as if realizing for the first time what it did resemble. "I'm not hungry anymore."

"You should be thanking me then, since I'm helping you lose weight and all." Heidi grinned and practically fluttered her eyelashes.

"No, it was your ugly face that made me lose my appetite."

Bebe and Heidi glared at each other as Wendy held up her hands. "Girls, please stop. You're not helping the rights of women when we can't even get past the need to cut each other down. If a boy called you a bitch, Heidi, or you a slut, Bebe, we'd rally behind to support you. Our own jealousy is setting us back, don't you realize that?"

Heidi was the first to break her gaze and rolled her eyes."You're being a hypocrite, Wendy."

Wendy backed down from her spiel; teeth gritted together so hard her fillings hurt. "How so?"

"You're getting so hurt calling us out on our behavior when I recall you doing the exact same thing to Bebe last semester. Your so called best friend."

"It's true, you did. After all the boys started noticing her." Red said, carefully observing the fight from behind her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"But that was different. Even my own boyfriend was after her."

"What about the time you manipulated the Iraqi government because you thought someone was after your boyfriend?" Red seemed to gain a bit more confidence with every word as she set her sandwich down.

"What? That was a secret between me, Bebe and Kyle. I can't believe you told them!"

"You're still not explaining yourself." Heidi smirked.

"Well, the relationship was so new and I was afraid. Makeup and black leather weren't enough to compete with that substitute."

Bebe eyed the banana in her hand and snapped it in half as she turned to Wendy with narrowed eyes. "What about getting breast implants for another imaginary competition between you and me for your boyfriend?"

"Hey Heidi was the one who called you a slut."

"How is that different? You think I'd actually do something like that to you, Wendy? It seems I grew boobs first and none of my girlfriends could ever forgive me for it! But Heidi and you take it as 'everyone hates me because I'm beautiful' thing when I just want to get along with everyone. Both the girls and boys!"

Heidi broke into a full on grin, happy to be let off the hook and always amused to know she got to Bebe. "I think the act of getting a boob job is way more offensive than anything I could call Bebe. Bravo, Wendy. Didn't you call Bebe a slut then as well?"

Wendy chose to ignore Heidi since Bebe was becoming the bigger problem; she knew how easy it was for Bebe to go off the deep end. "Look I'm sorry for the boob job thing. Also for making you feel unwelcome at the lunch table."

"I just wish you could know how it feels." Bebe crossed her arms across her chest.

"So how did you handle it when we kicked you out of the girl's table?" Red asked.

"I cried, Rebecca. I went to the bathroom and cried. I should have gone to sit with the boys but that would have made things worse."

Wendy mimicked Bebe, crossing her arms uncomfortably across her own chest, or lack of chest in Wendy's case. The ugly scars of her botched boob job were bad enough reminder and now everyone was angry at her.

"I'm trying to stand up for myself, Bebe."

"Maybe you should try backing down when you're reminded of something that hurts." Bebe snapped back at her.

"We're so sick of her holier than thou attitude maybe she should have a temporary ban from sitting with us." Heidi suggested.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here. I know I left the girl's counsel but joined cheerleading to make up for that. Doesn't that mean anything to you, Bebe?"

Bebe ignored Wendy. "I propose a one day ban from the girl's lunch table until Wendy learns her lesson. Does that sparkle with everyone?"

A chorus of "sunshine" could be heard from the table as Wendy's mouth dropped open. It didn't take that long for her friends to turn on her.

"It's decided then." Bebe tapped her phallic shaped banana against the table like a judge's gavel.

"You can't be serious. Girls, come on."

She looked to Bebe for help, but the other girl simply shook her head and took bite of her salad, continuing to ignore her.

Fine, if even her supposed best friend couldn't back her up and chose to go with a group mentality she could play along with their little game as well.

Wendy shoved her half eaten food back into her lunch box and got up and left the table. She crossed the noisy lunch room. She was too prideful to go sit by herself. She refused to go to the bathroom to cry. She certainly didn't want to sit with strangers; the fifth graders in the corner seemed to be leering at her. Well if her own friends could kick her out she did have one last person she could count on. Wendy straightened her shoulders and put on her public speaking smile. The same one she used when having to give speeches in front of the class and casually strolled over to the fourth grade boy's table.


	2. A Salty Entree

Stan was enjoying a slice of pizza and tater tots, the only good thing left in the cafeteria after poor Chef had died. He had also been smirking with the other boys over a semi amusing story Kenny had been telling. "I seriously think we'd remember you reaching the top of the tree, waving to me and Kyle and slipping and hitting every branch on the way down. You'd have a million bruises or something."

"You wouldn't even survive a fall like that." Kyle said pointing a chicken nugget in Kenny's direction before dipping it in ketchup and popping it in his mouth.

Kenny slammed his fist onto the table, causing everyone's lunch trays to shake and his styrofoam cup filled with water to spill onto his bologna sandwich with no condiments. "That's the point you guys! I didn't survive that fall at all! I don't even know why I bother anymore."

Hmm so Kenny wasn't telling a disgusting story, just a ridiculous one. Wendy saw the half of the boys table that was facing her stop eating and stare. She saw Eric Cartman's chubby face give her a devilish grin, showing some of the food in his mouth. Yuck. Especially since she kissed that mouth before, but she could handle herself around him. What she hadn't counted on was Token Black sitting directly across from her boyfriend. Awkward.

Still, Stan had his back turned and hadn't noticed her. Oh well no turning back now. Wendy tried to remain poised and confident as she set her cute lunch box down and squeezed between Stan and Kyle. Stan looked up at her and almost choked on his pizza, quickly starting to cough. Kyle scooted away from her as far as the end of the lunch bench would hold him. She turned to give her boyfriend a smile. "Hey Stan, what's up?"

"Oooh here we go, she's come to break up with you again!" Cartman elbowed Token in the ribs. "Five bucks says he's the first to cry before her."

"I'm not having any of that." Token said more to the crab cake in front of him than Cartman himself.

Wendy glared at Cartman. "I'm not here to do that! Stan, are you okay?" She started patting him on the back.

"Then what are you doing here?" Asked Kenny.

"Yeah Wendy, you don't belong here. Go back to the girls table before you ruin our lunch with your whining and PMS." Cartman laughed again taking a bite of his double bacon cheeseburger.

"What! I came to see how my boyfriend and his friends are doing. I can sit here if I want, tell them Stan!"

"It's fine." Stan finally gasped between coughs, his eyes watering. Nice to know she still had that effect on him.

"You can't talk to me like that, fatass." Wendy retorted.

"Oh look the PMS is flaring up already. Do us a favor and get out of here before you ruin our lunch by making Stan puke all over the place."

Stan had finally regained his composure and glared at Cartman. "I haven't done that in at least six months, well not because of Wendy anyway."

"Stan's gotten much better as our relationship has gone on." Wendy said, still trying to maintain the upper hand to Cartman's immaturity.

"Yeah I'm sure he loves holding your pink purse filled with tampons while you're either beating up or making out with other boys."

Stan had seen a lot of fucked up shit in the last two years, but that was one memory that made him wish for a severe case of brain damage. "Cartman, shut the fuck up and stop bringing up stupid stuff before I kick your ass."

"We get it Stan, trying to look cool in front of your girlfriend. Sorry if I'm just pointing out what everyone is thinking anyway. If I don't say it who will?"

"No one was thinking of that." Stan looked at his lunch tray then at Cartman's food, maybe this would be the day his fat sometimes friend would finally choke to death like Kyle always wished for.

"By this point getting your ass kicked for saying stupid stuff you'd think he'd learn. Stop trying to ruin our lunch." Wendy looked at Stan again but noticed he was grumbling and dipping a tater tot awfully hard into a puddle of ketchup. Maybe she had made a mistake.

"I think you're the one ruining our lunch, Wendy." Cartman jeered.

"That's not true; you're the only one who has a problem with me being here. Right?" She looked at the other boys at the table, her eyes briefly meeting Token's before he looked away.

"Well it's just cramped with you here." Kyle said from his position perched on the edge of the bench.

"Why don't you switch to the other side of the table and sit by Cartman?" Wendy suggested while trying to make peace with Stan's best friend.

"Why don't you do that, Wendy." Kyle threw back at her.

"I wanted to sit next to Stan." Wendy scooted closer to Stan so her thigh was touching his. Stan shoved his lunch tray away and buried his face in his hands.

Butters poked his head over Stan's hunched over form. "But Wendy, Eric always sits at the end in case he has to jump up and shake the table and tell us about something."

Cartman could help but laugh at what he started as everyone else seemed to turn on Wendy. "Here we go, she's at the boy's table for five fucking seconds and she starts changing it to fit what she wants. Stan, keep your bitch in line."

Stan's head shot up again, forgetting his wish of Kyle's wish to come true. "Shut the fuck up, fatass. Let's just try to eat in peace."

"Let's." Wendy pulled out some apple slices out of her lunch bag and carefully took a bite out of one, trying not to draw any more attention to herself and Stan. She should've pulled him to the side and asked if he wanted to eat alone with her at their own table. But looking at the lunch room clock there was only fifteen more minutes until recess anyway.

She looked up again to see Cartman starting on a slice of cheesecake, his eyes going between her and Stan. Probably trying to see what else he could get away with. She didn't want to have to hit him again, but she'd do what was necessary. To his right and directly across from her Kenny was also staring, but grinning and waggling his eyebrows up and down. Wendy looked down again to make sure anything wasn't showing through her clothing. Nothing was of course; she was a very conservative dresser but still, what a pervert.

Finally the uncomfortable silence was broken by Jimmy. "You wanna hear a f-f-funny joke, W-W-Wendy?"

Well that was nice of Jimmy to attempt conversation with her when the rest of Stan's friends were glaring at her, carefully ignoring her or just blankly staring. Stan himself had been sitting very stiffly, eating his pizza very slowly and deliberately but relaxed a bit at Jimmy's ice breaker. Maybe things would be okay after all, she'd play along. "Sure, Jimmy, I'd love to hear one."

"What does a gay horse eat?"

The answer was sure to be stupid and offensive but Stan gave her an encouraging nod, she could take the bait. "What?"

"H-h-h-h-eeee. H-h-he-he-hee."

Wendy looked to Stan again who raised an eyebrow, "Just wait for it." He whispered to her.

"H-h-h-heeeeeeeey!" Jimmy stuttered in an effeminate voice.

Wendy politely chuckled. "Funny."

Jimmy gave her a crooked, braces filled grin. "Wanna hear another one W-w-w-Wendy?"

"No thank you." Wendy glanced at the lunch room clock again, eleven more minutes.

Everyone continued to eat in silence until Kenny jumped up again, his knee bumping the table causing it to shake once again. "Hey, Wendy, I have a great trick you can do. It'll be magical!"

"A magic trick? Sure." Maybe Kenny wasn't so bad if he was making an effort to be nice to her. Cartman still had that creepy grin on his face and Kyle was sullenly eating his chicken nuggets and looking in every direction but hers.

But Stan looked skeptical. "Kenny, what are you going to do?"

"Trust me Stan; you'll like this trick best of all. Does your phone have a video camera? You might want to whip it out."

On the opposite side of Token, Wendy could see Clyde get out his own phone. "Kenny, what are you going to make me do?"

"A simple magic trick! Okay, Wendy, baby. Close your eyes and pretend you're shaking salt into your mouth. If you do it fast enough you'll start to taste actual salt."

Wendy hesitantly started to raise her hand but Stan grabbed it and slapped it palm down, now it was his turn to jump up at the table. "Kenny what the hell is wrong with you? That's my girlfriend, man!"

"That's why I thought you'd like it. A little preview of what's to come a few years from now."

Wendy was still confused what just happened other than Stan's right hand was still on top of hers while his left hand was hurling tater tots off his tray into Kenny's direction and cursing at him. It wasn't until she stopped staring at her boyfriend's neanderthalish behavior and looked past him at Butters on the other side of him. Eyes shut, mouth wide open with tongue out, vigorously shaking imaginary salt into his mouth, or looking like he was making a jerking off motion.

"I'm shaking as fast as I can fellas and still can't taste the salt. This trick doesn't work."

Clyde had been browsing through his phone looked up. "Shake harder, you'll taste something salty eventually."

Wendy could feel the blush travel from her neck all the way to her temples. "KENNY MCCORMICK THAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT!"

Kenny rolled his eyes and popped one of the tater tots Stan threw at him in his mouth. "No it's not. You didn't do it. Your knight in shining armor saved you, isn't that all you chicks want anyway?"

"You wouldn't know the first thing about what a real girl would want. They're just cardboard cut outs and pictures in magazines, objects for your lust. You're more sexist than Cartman is!"

Stan's hand on top of Wendy's squeezed tightly and Wendy felt her arm being pulled away from the table towards the cafeteria exit. "Stan what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to make as graceful of an exit as we can so I can keep just a shred of my dignity." He muttered through clenched teeth.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Stan, let me go." Wendy roughly shook her arm until she was free.

The two stood just outside the door leading out to the playground.

"I have to get my lunch box, excuse me." She tried to push past him but he blocked the entrance to the cafeteria.

"Wendy, for your own good do not go back in there."

"But my lunch box is important to me."

Stan took a deep breath. "I'll go back and get it. Just go out onto the playground and I'll meet you there. Okay?"

Maybe you should try backing down when you're reminded of something that hurts.

Wendy hung her head down. "Okay." She said softly. Maybe she would have been better off going to the girl's bathroom to cry.

"One minute I swear." Stan left her at the door and marched back to his lunch table. Wendy's white lunch box still sat on the table; at least his friends hadn't done anything to it...yet. He would have to inspect it before he could give it back to her. He snatched it off the table as the other boys stared at him.

"Oh, you're back already." Kyle said flatly.

Stan raised his middle finger to the entire table. "Fuck you, Cartman for being an asshole. Fuck you, Kenny for being a perverted dick head. Fuck you, Butters for being really fucking stupid. Fuck you too, Kyle."

"Me? I didn't do anything to you or Wendy."

"Well you didn't help me either."

"How the hell am I supposed to help you with your girlfriend?"

"I don't know, but still, fuck you!" Stan turned on his heel and walked away.

"Damn dude. Too bad Craig's out sick. He and Stan could've had a flip off contest." Token observed as the entire table watched Stan slam the cafeteria door shut.

"With any luck she'll dump him after that. You're welcome, Kahl." Cartman said triumphantly.

"Why would that help me? If you wanted to do me a favor you'd make it so Stan would dump her."

"Ha, like that'll ever happen. Taking bets for when Stan starts wearing black again, any takers?"

"You are an asshole, Cartman." Kenny noted before he grabbed Stan's abandoned lunch tray for his leftover food.

"I have to applaud you Kenny. You were the one to get rid of her." Cartman nodded approvingly.

"I didn't want to get rid of her, man. Today was probably the best lunch I've ever had. I may take a cue from Wendy and sit at the girl's table from now on. She didn't understand the salt shaker trick, who knows what I could get away with? Are you in for tomorrow, Clyde?"

Instead of agreeing Clyde slammed down his phone and started to sob. "Bebe unfriended me on Facebook! She's never gonna take me back now!"

"Here we go, different person, same set of stupid problems. Girls are for fags." Cartman rolled his eyes as he finished off his cake.

Jimmy put his hand on his chin, deep in thought. "What I d-d-d-don't get is we're p-p-p-p-putting up with all this b-b-b-bayyy, b-b-b-b-bullshit while we're still in the fourth grade. We're not even getting p-p-p-p-ussy yet. B-b-b-believe me I've tried."

"Because." Kyle spoke up angrily. "These girls are our peers so when the time comes when they want to have sex with us you'll gain brownie points if you've been in a romantic relationship with them. If not you'll still have a better chance judging from extracurricular activities, social groups we frequent in and whatever car our parents decide to give us!"

"Do you wanna eat at the girl's table tomorrow, Kyle? I bet you could get the girls to unintentionally do some really freaky shit." Kenny smiled as he started on the pudding from Stan's tray.

"No Kenny, unlike you I have important things to worry about. Like the spelling test right after recess. Excuse me, I have to go study. For fuck's sake Clyde stop crying! Your dad owns a shoe store; you'll have a better chance of getting laid than any of us!" Kyle grabbed his notebook and stomped away from the table.

Token turned from patting Clyde on the shoulder who currently had his head buried in his arms and was sobbing quite loudly and messily. "If you want someone to go to the girl's table with you tomorrow, Kenny, I'll do it. My phone has an excellent video camera."

Jimmy raised his hand. "I-I-I'll go to."

Kenny rubbed his hands together, his grin mimicking the one Cartman usually had for Wendy or Kyle. "Excellent, we'll make quite an impression. We'll be equalizing the sexes or whatever. That's what Wendy wanted, right?"

"I'll go too you guys!" Cartman said excitedly.

"No, fatass." Kenny said, scraping the last of the pudding in the cup.

"Ay! Why the hell not?"

"Because us guys all hate you, if you're around the girls you'll only make it worse. No, fatass." Kenny said firmly.

Cartman narrowed his eyes, and then knocked over the soda on Stan's tray so it spilled all over the pizza and tater tots. "I'll still sit there tomorrow, Kinny. Whateva, I'll do what I want."


	3. A Satrically Sweet Dessert

Stan was still cursing under his breath as he crossed the empty playground. The sky was gray and the wind had picked up. Another snow storm would surely be on its way before it got dark. But he was already bracing himself for something else.

He quickly looked over the lunchbox for spit or other bodily fluids his creative friends could come up with before he handed it to Wendy.

"Thanks." She said curtly. Stan watched her hold it to her chest and stare out into the mountains. He knew what was coming; he got on a nearby swing, ready for the rant that was sure to follow.

But Wendy remained quiet, not ready to face her boyfriend yet. Stan backed up and started pumping his legs to get the swing going. There was complete silence other than the creaking of the old rusty swing set. Finally he spoke up. "If you want me to kick Kenny's ass for you, I'll do it."

"I can fight my own battles, thank you."

"I know. But I don't think you should kick Kenny's ass. Not that I'll stop you if you're determined to. But I think Kenny would enjoy it, if you know what I mean."

Wendy whirled around. "I'm not going to beat up any more of your friends, okay?"

"Fine." Stan continued to swing higher.

Wendy walked closer to the swing set, her eyes following him. "Stan, why are we together again after being apart for so long?"

"Well growing up with parents who get divorced and back together as often as mine do you get used to it."

"That's not what I meant." She huffily crossed her arms.

"Then what do you mean? Are you trying to break up with me?"

"No! Well, I don't know..."

"Jesus, I never knew Cartman had so much influence over you."

"He doesn't!"

"Well he kept saying you were gonna dump me and now you are!"

"Well I'm not!"

Stan continued to get angrier as he swung higher. "You seemed to like kissing him so much. You didn't even care that we were dating then!"

He waited for an answer but none came. He looked down to see Wendy had sat down on the end of the slide, looking down and playing with the handle of her lunch box. He probably shouldn't have brought that up but after Cartman reminded him of it wouldn't leave his mind.

Finally Wendy stood up and angrily threw her lunch box into the snow.

"Hey, I thought that was important to you, why are you throwing it away?" Stan yelled as he let the swing lose momentum.

"I don't know. Because all my friends turned on me today by pointing out all the irrational things I did due to jealousy. Most had to do with dating you."

Stan dug his feet into the ground to stop the swing completely. "I meant the lunch box. You don't think I forgot the flag debate did you? Or how well you did as Kyle's egg partner when I was doing a terrible job? Or what Kenny tried to pull just now? How do you think I felt?"

As Stan patiently waited for an answer he started to slowly turn around in the swing, making the chain twist around tightly before he leaned back and let himself go.

Wendy watched Stan spin around and considered what he just pointed out. He had been jealous whenever she was around his friends. He hadn't uttered a word about the kiss before today and she never heard about the Kyle thing. In this new second half of their relationship she was getting to know him better. Quite frankly, except for the beginning they hardly spoke in third grade unless it had something to do with Bebe, Cartman or substitute teachers. The last thing she'd try her damndest to never let him know. Everyone else who knew about it used it as a main argument of why she was called a jealous, controlling, possessive, bitch.

Stan at eight was a lot different than Stan at ten. He was bolder, blunter, and more outspoken. Or maybe he had always been that way but she, like most, failed to notice.

Wendy carefully edited her words, not letting it slip about how the other girls had gotten to her. "Bebe told me I should try backing down when I'm reminded of something that hurts."

Stan finally stopped spinning on the swing and stood up. "That is probably the worst advice I have ever heard. If anything hurts you or those you care about it should take it as a sign to try harder and refuse to give up. I tell Butters this all the time. I shouldn't have to tell you, I thought already knew that. Why do you think I started liking you in the first place?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Because you stood out from the rest of the stupid girls. I admit I first noticed you were pretty, then that you were smart, but I really liked how outspoken you were about always trying to do the right thing. It was so refreshing for a girl to be like that, but I was terrified to even say two words to you."

Instead of responding Wendy got up from the slide and headed over to her favorite thing to play on, the merry go round. There was a solid steel wheel in the middle for the kids to turn to make it spin. She stared to turn it round and round until she was spinning so fast she had to hold her beret with one hand as her hair whipped around her face.

Stan followed her from the swing and hopped onto the merry go round so he was directly opposite of her. He turned so they were face to face. The old Stan would've been worried to be spinning so nauseatingly fast, especially that close to Wendy, but something much more honest spewed from his mouth. "You realize I started La Resistance in an effort to impress you? But then I had to keep going to deal with other important stuff, to get Kyle to stand up to his mom, to save Terrance and Phillip, to stop the Canadian American war."

"You did all that because you were trying to impress me? I had that much effect on you?" Wendy stopped turning the wheel letting the merry go round slow down.

"Well you helped. In the very beginning you were the first one to come up with a plan with Cartman and the aliens. After that, crazy shit kept happening to my friends and I. La Resistance may have broken up but I was doing stuff like that before and continued after, not only because of you but also because of Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Butters."

"All my friends are mad at me which is why I tried to sit with you in the first place. Now all your friends are mad at both of us."

"We're guys, Wendy. They'll be over it in less than a day. I think only Kyle will still be sensitive a bit longer. But the next time something crazy happens my group of friends will band together to solve the problem."

"But I'm not a part of that any more. The only time I actually get to do something like you've done I get called out for being a jealous bitch. It keeps me from being accepted by the people who like you. I feel you're holding me back." The merry go round came to a full stop as the two stared at each other.

"Sometimes I think you're holding me back as well. How come no one ever remembers the stuff I've done?" Stan held out his hand and counted on his fingers. "I tricked Cartman into donating a kidney to save Kyle's life. I defrauded both a famous television psychic and a bogus anti drug corporation in the same week. A few months later I became the leader and later exposed a major cult. I saw dolphins and whales slaughtered on my ninth birthday and helped change the whaling views in Japan. I was forever changed after my tenth birthday even if everything else stayed the same. But as soon as I'm near you I'm labeled a bigger pussy than the time I stopped eating meat."

"It seems us being boyfriend and girlfriend is sending the wrong message of who we are as people to the outside world." The truth was out there; Wendy turned around and sat with her legs dangling off the merry go round so she wasn't facing Stan. She didn't want him to see her cry over this.

Stan sighed and got up and sat next to her, hesitating slightly before putting his arm around her shoulders. "But Wendy, if you're so willing to back down in the face of adversary maybe we are better off breaking up. Because the spark that made me like you in the first place would be gone. I would still carry on trying to stand up for what's right, even if you're no longer doing that."

Wendy finally looked at him, trying to blink back the tears. "I will always try to do what's right in such a screwed up world. I don't want to break up with you."

"I don't want to either, but everyone who's known us since third grade sees us as better off apart. It'll only get worse as we get older."

"But this screwed up town needs more people like us to take action when things go wrong. If you refuse to never back down when reminded of something painful I don't want to either. Even if the pain comes from the cold hard truth of how people view us as a couple."

"You have the people who like you and I have the people who like me. Maybe the rival groups will never get along or accept us as a couple. But it seems we're not talking about our friends anymore, but actually about-" Before Stan could finish his sentence Wendy wrapped her arms around his neck as her lips connected with his. Stan was so surprised he fell back into the snow with her on top of him. After a moment of sweet satire they broke apart and she rolled over so they were both laying on their backs in the school yard.

"You don't know how nice it is to finally do that and not get thrown up on." Wendy sniffed as a few tears ran down her cheeks.

Stan propped himself up on one elbow to face her. "So I guess that means we shouldn't break up?"

Wendy shut her eyes and laughed, feeling a bit silly for crying. "No. I'm still happy to be your girlfriend no matter what other people think."

"I've always been happy when things are good between us." Stan gave a small smile as he wiped her tears with his glove. "I guess I shouldn't do that. I can't be too nice to you."

"Yeah, I can't be upset if I think you'll leave me for another girl."

"I won't. Not after probably the best conversation we've ever had."

"Good. I like it when you're nice to me, no one else really is. Hey Stan, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what is it?" Stan said as he got up, brushing the snow off his pants and jacket.

"Can you sit with my friends at lunch tomorrow and repeat that entire speech? About not backing down when something hurts? Anything after that would just be showing off our good qualities." Her small smile broke into a full grin, knowing things would be okay, at least between her and Stan. She couldn't be sure about everyone else.

He smiled back as he held out his hand to help her up. "Yeah, I'll sit with you at the girl's table tomorrow. What's the worst that can happen? It's not like we'll have to deal with Cartman and Kenny again or something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for Heidi's characterization. This was written in 2012.


End file.
